Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
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