Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize