hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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