i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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