dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
