Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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