Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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