I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
should my penis look like a turkey
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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