Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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