two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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