Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
