MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
