Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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