And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
