Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
