Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
