I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
