Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize