he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
