To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
