your thong is hanging out like whoa
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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