dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
