i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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