great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
