he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
