it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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