Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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