u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
