It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
