Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
