I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
