We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
