having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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