it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
