He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
