Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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