i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
