How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
