So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
