All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
