Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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