Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
