So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You've changed since you got that strap on
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
