I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
