He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
