So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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