So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
