stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize