Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
