And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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