I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
