Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize