Kiss
Puke
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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