i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
