they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
