My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
