Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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