new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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