Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
