I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
