chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
