My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
The air was thick with penises
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
