before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
you will always have a special place in my vag
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
