then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
